Wednesday, 14 December 2016

What Does it Take To Be President? The Playbook from 2016

CAMPAIGN1      Speak with confidence.  It doesn’t matter if you know what you’re talking about, or if what you’re saying makes sense.  Just say it.  Say it loud, and say it like you mean it.  (No, it doesn’t matter if you mean it either).

Take every opportunity that comes your way to drum up publicity.  Think of the most outlandish thing you can say, and just say it!  Okay, it may hurt you for a while but folks can be pretty forgiving; you’ll be okay.

3.       Grab cats.  Lots of them.  Work it out.

4.       Be a master of social media.  Don’t worry about looking a bit odd sending random tweets in the middle of the night.  It shows you’re engaging with your public and what’s more, that you’re entertaining!

5.       Appear different.  Promise to drain swamps or something.  Again, you don’t have to think through what this means in detail.  It’ll sound great.

And if you follow these steps and do become president?  Tear up the playbook and start from scratch.  Just hire smart folks and let them run the country for you, freeing up your time to remotely manage your business investments and produce celebrity reality shows.

Done deal!  Based on a true story.

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